big boy

After many weeks of trying and trying, Dexter finally pulled himself up today. Oh it makes this Momma so proud! He is a hefty boy at 25 lbs so gaining the arm strength to do that was tough stuff! I'll bet even still he'll have a few problems with it but he did finally do it all by himself. I was in the bathroom getting his bath ready and he doesn't enjoy it when he's not in my arms so he was fussing and trying to get at me. I tried to get him up once and he did it with my help so I put him back on the floor and then he pulled himself up all on his own :) Now walking is just a hop, skip and a stride away... my how time flies.

weird dreams

The other night I had a dream that Justin Bieber was my little brother and he was a very big snot. We were rollerblading at night in the winter up a hill to get home and I really sucked and kept falling while Justin was awesome at it and had his awesome little possy following him on roller blades. He was still as famous as he is in real life and still dating Selena Gomez. Once I finally got home I went right to my older brother (who was apparently Amish as he was wearing the full out Amish wardrobe) to comfort him because his girlfriend had just died of Slavakian cancer. Our parents were home and were running around the house trying to get it ready for the mourning and I had to find our little sister who was about 18 months and get her to sleep. Her room had a half size door and I had to duck to get into it. Her room looked like it was straight out of the 50's. Once I rocked her and got her to sleep I went to go put her in her crib and I looked down and I was holding a bunch of newly folded shorts, still warm from the dryer. Then I woke up.

Last night I dreamed that there was a death in the family and it started out right after the funeral when we were all back in normal clothes and the whole family was still at the house. I was having a very difficult time with the death and was crying non-stop. My family (who wasn't my real life family) couldn't stop staring at me because they didn't know what to do. When it was time for everyone to go (because we had all road tripped to get to the funeral) I went to go hug my brother who happened to be that carrot top guy goodbye and I lost it. He hugged me for a long time and told me he loved me. I then got into my old car Junior (the Grand Prix) with Max and we left. As we were driving away I remembered that I really needed to put diapers in the wash so that Dex wouldn't run out even though the dream had taken place before Dex was born and before Max and I were married. Then I woke up.

Seriously, I have the weirdest dreams.

early morning kisses

Dex has taken to waking up at 6 am. Not my cup of tea. He was on a beautiful schedule of 8pm bedtime to 7-730am wake up time but now he's starting to transition down to one nap. Now it's bedtime of 7-8pm and I guess wake up time of 6am. That is tough.

So this morning I tried to get him to play with some toys in his crib for a bit but that didn't work so I brought him into bed with us even though I knew he wouldn't let me sleep. Usually he likes to poke you in the face and grab and your cheeks as he is very fascinated with the face and all its features. This morning though he just wanted to get a kiss or give Momma a kiss every 15-30 seconds He'd offer his lips if he wanted to give me a kiss otherwise he'd offer his cheek, or forehead or ear or chin if he wanted a kiss. I guess if I have to stay awake kisses are a nice prize right? My sweet, sweet boy.

Dexter- One year

My baby boy is a year old now. I had a very sentimental week thus far and I don't want to dwell on it as I am not usually such a tear up type of gal. It seems post baby my tear glands work much better than before. Not a post baby quality I enjoy.

Dex had his 1 year check up today. He was 24 lbs 8 oz which I guess is the 90th percentile. I was surprised he didn't weigh more. Seriously. A lot of you (most of you) have lifted the child and he does not FEEL like he weighs only 24.5 lbs. Especially if you consider how much the child eats which is comparable to a small adult. He was 3o inches long (75 percentile) and his head circumference was also in the 75 percentile. Over all a very healthy baby boy :) He took his shots like a champ, only crying while they were happening. Happy again when I picked him up. Very upset when I set him down again but who's counting.

As we were walking into our appointment and as we were leaving I was remembering that a year ago today we left the hospital and had our first day at home with Dexter. I was really terrified. And now look what I have. The most amazing thing I have ever created. One year ago.

How's that for romance?

After I got Dexter to bed I came into the office to putz around on Facebook a little teeny bit.

M: (hollering from the living room) I got you a surprise! It's in the fridge!

J: Really?

M: Yep! Even though you are mad at me. I equate it to two dozen roses.

J: opens fridge and finds....

How's that for romance? Haha... oh Max.

Whew, finally an update!

So I have quite obviously been MIA for a while now. It seems like summertime slows down everyone’s blogs. It’s a busy time! Especially for my little famdam this year. I’ll do what my sister looooves to do and use bullet points.
*My close, close friends Josh and Lynsie (aka Sushi and Loincloth) got married in August. How lucky am I to have two such good friends find love together and get married. The wedding was beautiful and Max and I even got all spiffed up to stand up with them at the front. The reception was a lot of fun. Alcoholic beverages were drunk by all (except Max who does not drink) and I had enough for the both of us, enough to sing in front of 150ish people. Awesome. We all danced the night away (especially Rachel, haha) and had a great time celebrating these two people we love so much!

Here we are all dressed up.

*Their wedding was also my first night away from Dexter. I was quite sad not to come home and look in on him sleeping in his crib.
*I’ve been really trying to get my photography going. I want to be able to stay home with Dexter and baby #2 when s/he comes along someday (no, not pregnant now) and I will need to supplement my income somehow so I plan on doing the photography and having a daycare. So my “spare” time has been trying to get my name out there and working on the business end of things. Who knew there was so much to do and so much social networking to communicate with! It usually takes a couple years to really establish yourself so I’m hoping all this hard work this year will pay off next year with much more business. ***Shout out! I’m on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Jess-Arco-Photography/129784967115002 Come “Like” me! ***
*We got a kitty. Max hates cats and is allergic but we live in a farmhouse and with a farmhouse comes mice. Yuck. Previous years kills have come from mouse traps but with Mr. Dexter crawling all over the place, I don’t want mouse traps out. Max only agreed to an outside cat but I was hoping to just squeeze her in as an inside cat but unfortunately it appears that I am also allergic to cats. Who knew?! I have never had one before. Both our allergies should subside once we get her outside. Her name is Ivey. We have had her upstairs for the last week and a half and last night I moved her down the basement to adjust to the cooler weather. She’ll stay down there for another week or so and then we’ll move her outside. Hopefully my hands and feet can survive this rash that she gives me. It’s too bad. She’s such a good kitten and is very loveable. She is so good with Dexter. He really reams on her and pulls her legs/tail but she just puts up with it. I almost feel like we should give her to someone that wants an inside cat and get a kitten that hates people. That would work great for us.
*My other bestie JW is getting married on Friday. I am very excited for her and I’m happy that she loves me so much to make me maid of honor. I hope that my speech is up to her expectations ;) We have been preparing for so long to make her big day special and I know she’s stressed but the wedding will turn out beautiful. All the details she has though of are so very cute. After this wedding all my Monday friends will be married and then baby making time will begin!
*Max got a new job up at the hospital that he started at the beginning of August. You have NO IDEA how nice it is for him to have a job that is sort of in his field and he is NOT ALLERGIC TO! The rash on his hands is just about all gone (he was allergic to the oil in the concrete which is hard to get away from when you work at a concrete factory) and he is feeling much better. He doesn’t have to shower when he gets home from work and I don’t get nasty concrete dust all over everything. We both are so happy that he got this job. Thanks Rachel for telling him about it! He also works the same hours that I do so we are able to carpool every day and that saves a lot of money!
*Max and I carpool to work every day. The positive listed above. The negative being the car rides were my only “me” time for the whole day. It’s been really hard trying to find that time to myself. I always used to switch off between calling my mom or my sister or just sitting in the car in silence. Now rarely get to do any of the above. I’m definitely not complaining because it really saves us a lot of money to be able to drive together and previously we never got to spend together so now we are spending ALL our time together but you know how important that “me” time is. Plus I think my sister and my mom are feeling the effects of it as well since they don’t get to talk to me as much anymore.
*My son is almost ONE! How the devil did one year go by so fast? I’ve been busy trying to make preparations for his party. I know it seems a bit early but if I don’t do it now I will procrastinate and I really want this to be a good party for him. Even though technically he won’t even remember it. Either way, it is a celebration for everyone that we have had sweet, sweet Dexter in our lives for a year. Max’s family is so large that I had to find an alternate place to host the party since everyone wouldn’t fit in our house (and FYI we don’t have a small house). We were able to reserve a building at a park for free and there are enough picnic tables for all! Now we just have to hope for good weather and I’m sure everything else will fall together just fine.
I think that is enough updating for one day. If this blog gets any longer I will lose the few people I have as readers!

Disposable vs. Cloth

Max and I decided to make the switch from disposable diapers to cloth. Why do you ask? Well, for one, we are super cheap. We had that diaper poker party before Dexter was born and those diapers (plus maybe a box or two of newborns) lasted us until he was 6 months old. Impressive, I know! But then we started having to buy them and after 3 months, we had it. While Max doesn’t think they are expensive, I sure do!
Our daycare gal, Holly uses cloth diapers and at first I wanted nothing to do with it but then after some research and cost analysis I decided to go for it. She loves them so why wouldn't I? Our preferences for cost efficiency have mirrored each other with the exclusive breastfeeding and the homemade baby food so I'm sure this would be the same. It’s also handy that she does cloth diaper because a lot of day cares don’t accept them.
There really are a lot of different types and a lot of information to go off of but I decided to get a 12 pk of Bum Genius 4.0 pocket diapers and a 6 pk of Charlie Banana pocket diapers. I decided to get the pocket diapers because I wanted to have more control over the absorbency of Dex’s diapers. Also, this way, if he has a little pee, we only have to change an insert as the cover was not affected.
We also purchased a large and medium wet/dry bag to store the dirty ones in and some extra booster inserts. In its entirety cloth diapers are no cheap purchase. I think our bill all together for what we got was around $390 but if you take into consideration how much you spend in disposables, we will more then make it up in the time that Dexter is in diapers and they will last for #2 as well.
I started using them on Saturday so we are still pretty fresh but I think I like them! As well as you can like diapers but I definitely don’t dislike them. The pee diaps are a piece of cake. The poo diaps, well, we still need to figure out a system to get the poo from diaper to toilet but we’ll figure it out. Dex is super cute in them and I love the idea of not having to buy another diaper! We’ll have to get some more inserts it appears but I think 18 diapers “covers” is plenty. You do laundry every other day. All you do is a rinse in cold water to get the junk off and then wash in hot water and another hot rinse and dry in the sun. Easy peasy. A lot come in fun colors and prints now too. I can see how some mom’s get really into buying them. I have noticed that we will have to get some more regular inserts. We have 12 for the Bum Genius and lots of boosters but I'm thinking that's not going to cut it.
And now for photo examples:

You line dry them. The sun bleaches out any stains. You can use the dryer for the inserts but might as well line dry them while it's nice and sunny out!

Some of our stash. The Bum Genius are on the left, Charlie Banana on the right. Bum Genius it the most popular brand it seems. I've heard the Charlie Banana are better for newborns since there is an extra snap for sizing. The Charlie Banana are also very soft on the inside. Feels quite nice :)

The outside of a Bum Genius. I'm not sure why blogger wouldn't let the picture be the correct way but oh well. You still get the picture. All the snaps are so you can size them from newborn to potty training time. The one diaper should fit the entire way.

The inside sans an insert. We bought pocket diapers so you can tuck the insert inside the diaper by the flap on top but we like to just lay the insert along the top so we can use the cover again if possible.

All of the inserts.

The wet/dry bag where the dirty ones go. Holds in the smell just as well as a Diaper Genie. You can just stick them in the wash right with the diapers. This is our medium as our large one was on the line with the diapers!

And here is my happy, chunky monkey modeling his diapers. It doesn't seem like he's noticed a thing. I guess as long as he can get out what needs out he doesn't care! I have noticed though that some brands of clothing won't accommodate the extra padding so you'd have to go up a size. Carter's for example. Dex was just about out of the 12 month clothes and now with the cloth there's no way they'd fit.

best cousins forever :)

Dexter is blessed to have such a large family and so many cousins to play with. It makes me so happy to see him playing with them and makes my heart swell so much. You know the feeling if you have kids, I know you do. And if you don't have kids, you will know exactly what I'm talking about once you do.

Seeing my sister's son and my son play together all day today was just heartwarming. I hope they realize how lucky they are to have each other and I hope they grow to be best buds :)

Here they are in the dinky fort that I made for them. Someday they will be making awesome forts and no mom's will be allowed.

And bath time. Need I say more about how cute these boys are together!?

plummer alert

I swear, babies can pull off anything. Even a plummers crack. AND they make it soooo cute!

made in china

Setting up for a shot for Zaidyn's newborn pics.

J: She is so cute. Wait, lets take this Made in China sticker OFF the back of the basket.
C: Technically it's true.
J: What?
C: Made in China... my VA-china.

haha.

redheads?

I think we Jewell's have a surprise redhead gene in the family pool... don't ya think?!

early bird special

I was hoping that since this was the weekend and our alarms wouldn't wake Dexter up that I would be able to sleep in today. 630 maybe even 7!

5 am. Waaahaaaahahahaha.... dadadadadadad....Waaaaahahahahaha.
505am throw some toys in the crib
520am waaahahahahahahaha....dadadadada....mmmmmhmmmmdadaddwahhhhhhhh
530am bring Dexter into bed with us. give him the remote and the fan controller. lay back down.
531am hahahaha...dadadadada, mmmmhmmmmm (as he is yanking my hair)
535am we get out of bed.

I change his diap, give him his vitamins and we head downstairs and I put him on the boob.

602am fast asleep attached to the boob.

He must have wanted the early bird special. I would have preferred brunch.

drying up... literally

My sweet chunky little stinkbutt won't drink. He'll drink enough to get by, the morning being the best time but seriously, he won't drink. It's as if he is saying that he doesn't have enough time for the boob or for bottles. It's actually making me a little worried but his 9 month appt is just around the corner so I'll ask for some suggestions there.
The thing is, it's making me dry up. Yesterday I fed him in the morning right when he woke up and then pumped at 530. THAT'S IT! And I'm ok with the idea of not breastfeeding anymore. Technically my BF experience has been 20% BF and 80% pumping with working full time so that close bonding business only happens in the morning... AND I have about 2 months worth of milk in the freezer (I'm not kidding either) but (and this is going to sound strange) I just don't know how to be a mother without breastfeeding. I know it sounds ridiculous because Dex needs me for so much more then milk but my whole last 8 months have revolved around my boobs and nursing and pumping and yada yada yada. I'm not sure how to work this motherhood thing without it. I almost feel like I'm not as needed anymore. It makes me kind of sad.
My baby is growing up and I have to grow up with him. Do I wish that he would continue nursing more fully until he was a year? Yes. Did I plan on nursing for a year? Yes. Do I enjoy the fact that my kid doesn't like to drink because it's a waste of his time? No. Will I just have to deal with it? Yes. *Sigh... this mothering thing is an emotional roller coaster.

my brain runs a ridiculous path

My though patterns are so scattered... This is just went through my head in this order:

Pizza sounds so good. Maybe Max will want Papa Murpheys for dinner. Is Max dead? He's not answering any of my texts. I wonder how much 4 tires will run us. Should we get them in Oct or Nov? Man, I'm still going to be hungry after this. Maybe I should heat up more. Ooo, someone brought Twizzlers. I remember when we ate a bag of Twizzlers at the Monster Truck. Won't it be fun to bring Dexter to the Monster Trucks someday. He'll have to wear those ear protectors. I wonder if they sell them there or where we would buy them. What a fun thing for Max and him to do together. But I'd want to go too. I can totally see myself being one of those mothers who never wants her kids out of their sight. I can't be that mother. I love my boy so much. I wonder what he's doing. Max should make more of those Christmas Wreath cookies. But then again he shouldn't. I have to watch what I'm eating again. I wish Dex would drink more. Holy moses, I'm full.

break up's are never easy

I called today to make my appointment to chop off my hair. Earlier JW told me our hair place closed down or something and the hair stylists went to a new place. Well apparently they split up and went to different places. So I call the place where my gal, Becki, works and made an appointment. Last minute I asked how much a haircut costs there and it was $34!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me. No way in hells bells am I paying $34 for a haircut. Guess who will be cancelling that appointment. ME. Guess who is out a hairstylist. ME. Guess who is super bummed about losing Becki since she is awesome and gets my hair right every time. ME. Who got broke up with their stylist by some lady who answers the phone and called me hun and sweetie every other word. ME. Guess who has a husband who is incredibly happy that I don't have a stylist now. ME. Guess who just wants their hair chopped off. ME ME ME.

cut throat

I got to thinking about all the people on my Facebook people that I have as "friends". Just way too many people. They can all get into my account and look at my business and I don't even know who the devil they are. So I just spent a much wasted hour deleting people. 220 people to be exact. I could have been doing something much more productive but this was one of those things on the list... the very bottom of the list. Once I got started, I couldn't finish. So yay! That is done. Check!

And if you can still access my account, you made it :) If not... sorry about that.

makeover

I think I've given Max enough time with this long hair business. I much prefer it short and therefore am going to chop it off in the next month or so once I get my highlights done(much to Max's dismay). I'm thinking of this haircut. Nice and simple. Easy to maintain with Mr. Dexter dictating my "get ready" time. Do we think I could pull this off?

Syttende Mai

Syttende Mai is the "big thing" in our little town, or I should say my old little town. Saturday we took Dexter down to see his first parade! Of course it was freaking freezing but we rarely miss it as adults so we wouldn't miss it the first year we have a child.

Here is Max carrying Dex down to Main Street where we had set the chairs up earlier.

Me and my bundle of joy freezing our arses off waiting for the parade to start.

Dexter really liked the parade but he REALLY liked the little Zor cars that the old men drive around in circles. He flapped his arms and was making all sorts of noises when they came around. He here is mesmerized by them :) Lol, SO CUTE!

My little family :)

Isn’t it funny how songs can transport you somewhere? I’ll hear something and it will totally bring me back somewhere else. The reason I think of this was I had a song in my head this morning.

Coldplay’s early albums bring me back to when I was living in Hudson in the apartments on Aspen. I was always cleaning the apartment with the screen door open with the music turned up so loud.

Ben Lee’s album reminds me completely of Jake and Jummy’s wedding when I was driving around all over the place getting stuff for the girls and waiting for the bridal party to arrive at the reception.

3 Days Grace makes me so mad when I listen to it. It reminds me of when Max was being a douche when we broke up. Same with that Stained song. Can’t remember the name of it now.

Michelle Branch’s “Everywhere to Me” reminds me of driving down to the Eau Galle beach the summer the McDonald’s gang did everything and I mean EVERYTHING together.

I just thought I’d throw this out there. Does anyone else have songs/albums that do this for them as well? My personal time machine music is…

dreams and the subconscious

I don’t think that you can control what is in your dreams. I really don’t. Some people do but that is not me. That being said, I had one heck of a dream last night. I’m not going to go explaining it because this one hit a close to home but I can’t shake the mood its left me in today. The dream itself was normal in that it was very unrealistic (at one point the car had run out of room for people to sit so another random and I popped the hood and held on for dear life. Don’t worry, the driver said he wouldn’t go over 60) but the emotional part of this dream, that is what has my mood all wacky. It brought up stuff I haven’t thought about in a long time. And I can’t stop thinking about it. All day so far. I was hoping that it would wear off but it hasn’t.

The subconscious is a weird and mysterious thing.

Bringing Sexy Back

Yesterday, as I was getting myself ready to go to a wedding reception I realized that I hadn't washed my hair in 2 1/2 days, hadn't shaved my legs in a week, I was wearing really unflattering comfy clothes, I was out of underwear so I was wearing my big huge "I'm 9 months pregnant" underwear that sags down to my knees and (Max's personal favorite), I hadn't shaved my armpits in 3 days.

Victoria's Secret called yesterday looking for their new angel. Right here baby, right here. On that front page with Adrina Lima and GISELLE (whom I really just don't like) is me, with my saggy pregnant underwear that all men are obviously attracted to. Bringing sexy back.

drugged out

I had my wisdom teeth taken out today. All four of them. Not fun. I went under while they did it under the recommendation of my doc (which was awesome because then it was covered by insurance instead of having to pay out of pocket for it). I barely remember the office after that, or going to Walmart and waiting 20 min for my prescriptions, or picking up Dexter from Holly's (his daycare) or the ride home.
All I have to say is it freaking hurts. Dexter's pediatrician said that I shouldn't take Vicadin as it will make my milk bad even longer (no breastfeeding for 48 hours) so I am on Tylenol 3. It's awesome. Makes me really freaking tired though. So I took some an hour ago or so and I am feeling much better now :) Much much better. I probably won't remember writing this very well though, I'm so tired. I should get away from the computer while I'm on this stuff so I don't write anything I shouldn't!
Perhaps I will take a nap and then send my fantastic husband up to McD's for a chocolate shake!

I got to keep the teeth by the way :) My only request out of this whole thing.

*(added next day) apparently while we were at Walmart we bought a Kindle case for me and a new winter coat for Dex for next year for $3! At least even while I'm drugged out I know a good deal :) I remember about 5% of that Walmart trip. I should look at the reciept to see what else we bought...

takeover

I knew that having a baby meant having a lot of baby stuff around and I was prepared for it. All the toys, the furniture, the laundry, etc. I was not prepared to give up our freezer to the little fella. Max and I have the right 1/4 of the fridge, Dexter has the rest :) Greedy little bugger, good thing he's not a bed hog.

deja blog

I'm remembering a blog I read a while ago about a married couple and bed times. At the time I thought it was pretty funny and what not but now I completely get it. She was saying how she decides it's time for bed and she gets up, cleans up the kitchen, makes the kids lunches, picks out her clothes for the next day, yada yada yada and her husband decided its time for bed, gets up and goes to bed. I am having that same moment. Max was really tired today after a weekend of only getting about 5 hours of sleep a night and got up and went to bed. I decide to get ready for bed after getting Dex to sleep and I go do the dishes, make up a new batch of rice cereal for Dex, get his food ready for tomorrow, go wash my face, do the checkbook, pump, take the dogs out, put the clothes in the dryer and finally soon will be able to walk up the stairs to go to bed. I definitely didn't think that reading that blog a while ago would reflect my life so closely now. I'm sure that's how it goes for most families though. Mom gets tired and goes to bed an hour later... Dad gets tired and gets up and goes to bed.

Sam's Club outlaws

Max and I went to Sams Club today to pick up a few things including diapers. We get to the diaper section and get Dex's size when Max notices the pallet above on the next shelf has the bonus sized boxes of diapers with an extra 18... same price. So what did we do? Ripped that plastic wrap right off that sucker and grabbed a couple boxes. A couple of outlaws right here ;) Sams Club outlaws that is!

insatiable

I am just SO HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. I can’t get over it. I wake up shaking in the morning after not having eaten all night long; I eat 2 breakfasts and a snack before lunch. Lunch always has to be big and I need a snack before dinner and at dinner, I shovel it in my mouth so fast I barely taste it. Max is a very fast eater and I normally take about twice as long to eat my dinner but not now. Oh no not now. I inhale it. Can’t get it in my system fast enough; have to get those calories in my tummy RIGHT NOW. Breastfeeding sure plays tricks with your body. I am going to be screwed once Dex doesn’t require as much milk and I cut back. I’m so used to eating a truckload of food everyday that my body will really pork out once I don’t have those calories going to making milk.

That was just on my brain this morning as I ate 2 breakfasts worth of food for my 1^st breakfast. I have an apple, granola bar and yogurt with dried cranberries for my 2^nd and I can’t wait!

misc thoughts

1. Yes, it's 930 at night and I have to get up in 3 1/2 hours to pump and get up about 3 times for Dexter but this is the only time I get to myself. 2. I hate sheetrock dust. 3. I just pinesoled my linoleum and I don't care. 4. I love my son with all my heart. 5. My remodel is freaking awesome. 6. I hope I keep up with mom's habit of having the dishes done when you go to bed. What concept! 7. I am really enjoying the show Bones. 8. I have lost 50 pounds since giving birth to Dexter and I only have 8 more to go... although my body is very different then it used to be. 9. I heart breastfeeding. I have lost all that weight while still eating pretty much whatever I want. Breastmilk calories :) 10. I had to move Dexter up to the next size carseat. The one that you don't take out of the car. It was getting a little uncomfortable for my buddie to get squished into his old one... He is my chunky monkey! That is enough for now. Night!

Can't wait

I’m about 90% sure we get to move back home on Saturday. The construction part of the remodel was finished on Monday and they are mudding and taping as we speak and should be finished by this weekend.

I am so ready to go home. It was been wonderful staying with my mommasita, the best place we could have gone for this transition but 2 weeks is a long time and I miss my things. I miss having all our food and all my clothes and I have so much to do for Dexter. I miss my Clydeypants! He has been staying with our friends Josh and Lynsie this whole time and we are so grateful. That was one thing mom said was absolutely no Clyde. He has been having a good time over there with their dog Sasha who matches him for size, finally a friend that will actually tucker him out rather than all these small dogs.

I my house to be clean and I can’t wait to arrange my furniture in their new spots. I can’t wait to move into our new room which is about twice the size of our old room. I can’t wait to have a shorter drive to work. I can’t wait for Dexter to be comfortable at night again and hopefully improve on his sleeping through the night.

Yes, oh yes, I’m ready to go home.

daycare blues

I dropped off my beloved son at daycare this morning. I knew it would be hard but man oh man was it really hard. I’m not a crier and I barely made it out to the car before tears came out. For some reason I felt really weird crying in front of the other daycare kids so I had to hold it in. Don’t want those little kiddos thinking I’m a big baby or anything.

I called her at 930 to see how things were going and I just text her now to check on him. Things are going well. That’s all I can ask for. I can’t wait to be done for the day and go pick up my munchkin and see how he did in detail.

Today just solidified my want to stay at home and have a daycare. Ideally I would just stay home with my children but I don’t think financially that will ever fly so I’d be happy to watch other kiddos so I can have the opportunity to spend the day with my babies.

holy moses of a dream

I had the craziest dream last night and I need to write it down before I forgot because I remember EVERYTHING. Josh and Loin will think this is pretty funny since it revolves around them.

Max and I walk into this hospital. It’s a really weird ghetto hospital that isn’t very updated or at least the entrance way isn’t updated. Old chairs, that ugly green color that old hospitals have. You know what I mean. We walk in and we have to keep going down halls and then take a right. Over and over we have to take a right like it’s some kind of maze. Finally we get to an area where there are some rooms and they doors are wide open. There is one room we pass with all men. There are lots of men in there getting ready to see the doc but they are naked. Not like sexual naked but just standing/sitting waiting for the doctor. We pass that door and after we take a right down the next hall, there is a room filled with women. These women are all pregnant and in labor. There are no family or men with them but a room filled with women in various stages of labor. There are women walking around, women hunched over, women moaning and groaning and one woman in the corner was in the fetal position also naked. (What’s with these naked people in my dream?)

Anyway, we apparently finally get to where we are going and we see Josh and Lynsie in a room. Lynsie has gone into labor as well. She is almost fully dilated and has made it so far without pain meds. Josh is pacing the room back and forth and back and forth nervous. I see Loin have a contraction and Josh springs into action to be by her side.

All the sudden, Max and I are at entrance way of this hospital again. We have to make the long journey of all these halls and all those right turns past the naked men and the labor room of women. We make it back to Josh and Lynsie’s room and Rachel and Brad are outside of the room along with Josh. Rachel tells me that Lynsie has started to push. I ask Josh why he isn’t in the room and he shakes his head and says “I couldn’t handle it; I’m going to be sick”. I was incredulous thinking that no one was in the room with Lynsie.

“She’s doing this all by herself?!” I asked.

Rachel then tells me that JW and Phil are in the room with her. Phil? What the heck. So we wait. Finally, Phil comes out of the room and is chuckling to himself… he couldn’t handle it either. Apparently it was too much for him. So Rachel and I fight to get in the room and Rachel beats me. So I wait.

Somehow, I finally get in the room and it’s just Lynsie, me and some invisible nurse. I don’t see her but I know she’s there. Lynsie is fully dressed in nice clothes and her coat still. She has a contraction and I tell her that she needs to breathe because it will help it not hurt so much (since she still hasn’t had any pain meds). I can still see her face all red with pain and with holding her breath for so long. After the contraction passes, I ask her if she wants her coat off which she does. We take off her coat and suddenly the baby is out. It’s a boy. At this point everyone is in the room and we ask what the baby’s name is. “Tripp” Lynsie says, “Tripp James Cole Oswald”. She called him Tippy though. He was a beautiful chunky baby boy with lots of dark hair.

I tell Lynsie it’s important to have skin to skin time right away and that she needs to get back in bed (why she was out of bed I don’t know). We get her back in bed and get her shirt off and I lay Tripp on her chest and cover them both up with the sheet so people didn’t see Lynsie’s chest. Then Lynsie looks up at me and smiles. It’s that tired smile that you get after you have gone though something hard and painful but received something so amazing you can’t even believe it.

Then I woke up.

Tell me what that bad boy means.

Curious behavior

As my boy is getting older and still being exclusively breastfed, I'm noting some funny behavior from him. I always have him in the bouncer when I shower so it's a little weird when my son stares at my chest when I get in the shower. Obviously he's staring for different reasons then say, his father does but still. Men and boobs. Starts early.
Also, he gets super impatient waiting for me to attach him so he's starting to pull at my bra before I can even get it down for him to eat. Impatient little bugger.
He's only 5 months old, come 6 months he's going to be lifting up my shirt and asking for more!

blog brain

My blogs always sound so much better in my head than when I type them out. I've lost many a blog idea this way. I think my brain is more articulate than my fingers... and my mouth. I think my brain is much funnier too.

that's exactly what I meant

Even though we weren't looking the greatest, I wanted to take some pictures together.

J: Can you try to NOT look like a serial killer Max?
M: Ok, I'm just really tired.

J: Yep, that fixed it.

voila!

I made dinner! With no recipe! Chicken stew! And it was good! Holy smokes!

egh...MN drivers

To the red Silverado, MINNESOTA driver in front of me this morning on the freeway-

I would love to understand your logic of:

1. Staying in the left lane the entire time

2. Speeding up between cars on the left

3. Slowing down while passing a car

4. Being a jerk in general

Please get out of the left lane. Thanks.

Daycare blues

I just had a very hard lunch. I started making calls for daycare availability. If the thought of having my Dexter in daycare made me want to vomit before, I am just crushed by the thought of it now. I so so so wish that I could just stay home and be with him. It is just not a possibility at this point.
I didn't realize that finding a spot for an infant would be more difficult than any other child but I did manage to find one lady with an opening near our house. I really hope we like her and that it works out. I got her number from a gal that used to work with me. She had her kids there for 4 years I think before she had to move them.
Luckily for us, Angel is willing to watch Dexter one day a week and I'm hoping I can figure something out for one more day so that he will only have to be there for 3 days a week. That definitely helps us out financially but also then I'll know Dex is with family.
I love my son so much, I just really want to find a comfortable fit for us all. I knew this would be really hard but I had no idea how hard. Poo.

hair stumped

I'm really bored with my hair and I'm thinking I enjoy this cut and color... do you think I could pull this off or is it too blonde??

I'm working on Max to agree to the maintenance costs of having blonde hair still but I'm pretty sure I will win this one. Eventually :)

christmas leftovers.

I swear my floor swallowed up pine needles from Christmas tree because I am STILL sweeping up needles and the tree has been down for a couple weeks now. It must be my Christmas leftovers :)

FYI

I may look cute as pie and have the most kissable cheeks around but I'm warning you... this is the look I'm going to give you before I have an official meltdown. Consider yourself warned.

Vicious cycles

Vicious cycles suck.

I have to pump All. THE. TIME. Seriously. 5 times a day. I’m really sick of it. I have to pump so much because I don’t produce enough. I pump more to trick my body into thinking it needs more and I take Fenugreek to try and naturally increase my supply. I sit and pump and stress about the small amount of milk in those little bottles. In turn, the stress makes me produce less making me need to pump more.

See what I mean? Vicious cycles suck.

Alright, waa waa waa to me. Don’t worry, I just told myself to stop being such whiner and complainer. I’m very happy I have been able to feed my son with the best of the best for this long. Hopefully I can continue to do it. My son is worth every pumping minute.

Absent for one day...

Please excuse my boobs from having to pump or breast feed for one day. They are tired and want a break. They will be back in business after one day. Thanks!

-Jessie

kids say the darndest things

I went to my uncles house on new years eve day to take a few pics for them and had the following conversation with my 10ish yr old cousin Ayrica.

A: Dexter is so cute!
J: Why thank you, I think so too...
A: I think Dexter has your eyes.
J: Oh really?
A: Yes I do! He has those dark circles around his eyes just like you do!

:)