My sweet chunky little stinkbutt won't drink. He'll drink enough to get by, the morning being the best time but seriously, he won't drink. It's as if he is saying that he doesn't have enough time for the boob or for bottles. It's actually making me a little worried but his 9 month appt is just around the corner so I'll ask for some suggestions there.
The thing is, it's making me dry up. Yesterday I fed him in the morning right when he woke up and then pumped at 530. THAT'S IT! And I'm ok with the idea of not breastfeeding anymore. Technically my BF experience has been 20% BF and 80% pumping with working full time so that close bonding business only happens in the morning... AND I have about 2 months worth of milk in the freezer (I'm not kidding either) but (and this is going to sound strange) I just don't know how to be a mother without breastfeeding. I know it sounds ridiculous because Dex needs me for so much more then milk but my whole last 8 months have revolved around my boobs and nursing and pumping and yada yada yada. I'm not sure how to work this motherhood thing without it. I almost feel like I'm not as needed anymore. It makes me kind of sad.
My baby is growing up and I have to grow up with him. Do I wish that he would continue nursing more fully until he was a year? Yes. Did I plan on nursing for a year? Yes. Do I enjoy the fact that my kid doesn't like to drink because it's a waste of his time? No. Will I just have to deal with it? Yes. *Sigh... this mothering thing is an emotional roller coaster.
1 comment:
Oh, man. I so understand. Richard stopped nursing about two weeks ago...just stopped. I was like, "Wait! Don't I get a say??" It's hard, I know, but you'll find your groove. I promise!
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