ahem...

Dear people who don’t know how to make a phone call properly,

A. know who you are calling. If someone just called you from this number it would probably be smart to check your voicemail. There are 16ish people here who could have called, I’m not going to know which one. Don’t be lazy.

B. don’t breathe into the phone like you are Darth Vader. You sound like an idiot.

C. ARTICULATE! I can’t understand your mumbling and will always get your name wrong if you can’t even say your name right.

Thanks from your friendly(most of the time) receptionist.