Postmarked California?

Dear Cesar Millan,

Please work your magic on my idiotic, I mean loveable furry creatures. I have a Yorkie who thinks he rules the roost and enjoys marking my chairs, table legs, fridge and stove even though he goes outside plenty of times and always makes use of that time. He also has recently found that walking on the left side of the road is just not for him and I have to drag him until we cross the road. I don't enjoy this new habit of his. He also likes to stare at the walls where the mice have been. He will spend hours doing this... will this ruin his eyesite? Perhaps then he won't know we are on the left side of the road.

I also have a 75 pound Rottweiler mix who thinks that he is 10 pounds and has a problem with other dogs who are larger than his "10 pounds". He is very protective of his parents and does not enjoy letting other dogs near us or even around us. He has developed a nice little habit of whining when no one will pay attention to him (this includes my actual 10 pound monster).

These habits are starting to get REALLY old and will become an issue once the baby comes as I will no longer want to put up with it. Come on out to the beautiful WI and spend sometime with the cheeseheads. I'm sure that there are lots of other people around here wanting your help. (But make sure you start with my house!)

Thanks Cesar!
Sincerely, me.